My Loc Journey

If someone had asked me about 4 to 5 yrs ago if I would go natural or consider growing locs, my answer would be no.  The  reason behind that answer would be because of the lack of knowledge and the stereotype that was associated with LOCS/DREADLOCKS.

I was born on the beautiful island of Jamaica and as a child growing up when you heard of a person with dreadlocks(Rastafarian, Rasta, Dreadlock Rasta, Bobo Dread or Natty Dread - just a few of the names they are called), the stereotype would be that they are unclean, rebelious, and all they do is smoke weed.  They were feared by most and admired by others. 

I migrated to the United States back in 1996 with my father and sisters and even then I still had the stereotype of people with LOCS. I saw more and more people wtih locs and I started to wonder why they were being stereotyped by society.  I have always had a secret admiration and curiosity about LOCS but at the time I was too young to know and understand and I knew if I had asked to have my hair that way I would have gotten an automatic no from my mom and dad.

Fast forward to the year 2008, I went natural because having a relaxer in my hair for so long my hair got damaged with split ends and then my hair started to thin out badly.  You could look at my hair and you would think my hair was fine but underneath it all , the back and the sides of my hair started to break pretty badly so my hair was mainly growing from the front and the crown of my head.

Needless to say I got frustrated and chopped it off.

I loved my little fro, not may people understood why I would cut my hear off but I did it for me. I had my hair natural for about a year.  I wore my hair in a fro, I wore it in braids and when I got tired of the braids I put a texturizer in my hair.  The texturizer made my hair really curly on some days and wavy on other days.  After having my hair natural for about a year and a half, I didn't know what else to do with my natural hair, I caved and perm/relaxed my hair again.

Fast forward again to the year 2010,  was natural for a couple of months due to the fact that I was pregnant.  An old wives tale played a significant role for me going natural and I'm pretty sure many of you have heard of it, that you should not perm or relax your hair while you are pregnant.   After I had my son, I was not sure what I wanted to do with my hair.  Throughout my pregnancy I wore braids and weaves for the past couple of months and honestly I did not want to put another perm/relaxer in my hair.

So throughout that period of time my child's father says, "why don't you loc your hair?"  I started to research on the internet about the history of locs and there was so much information and many of the sites referenced youtube videos.  I started browse around on youtube and to my surprise, there were so many videos of different loc journeys.  Those videos were so helpful and informative. 

I researched the different methods of going about getting locs and I decided then and there that I was going to loc my hair.  After I had my second child, about a month to a month and a half later I started my loc journey with two-strand twists.  I also decided to chronicle my journey on youtube.

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I am loving my journey and anyone with locs will tell you that the key to every loc journey is patience and I had to regain a lot of patience in this journey and it is paying off. 

I am only 7 1/2 months in my journey and I am loving my hair more and more.  I also have regained a lot of confidence in myself.  If you have always worn your natural hair all your life I respect you 100%, but for those who have had a relaxer in their hair or have fallen prey to what society wants you to look like then you know where I am coming from when you decided to transition from a relaxer back to natural hair.

My 7th / 8th month Mark:

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It is a process....it may be difficult at first but give it some time I guarantee you that you will learn to love and appreciate your hair.

"THE ONE"

How many of us have thought we have found "THE ONE"?

Some people are blessed to find "The One," the love of their life, their soul mate/best friend - and there are those of us who are still searching for "The One" to share our lives with and the companion who we can call our best friend.

Why is it so hard for some and not others?, maybe we need to take the time to learn to LOVE ourselves first and foremost. We try to put too much emphasis on trying to find a companion, when we need to learn more about ourselves before we try learn to love someone.  There are many times I wonder why I am single and it is not a matter of wanting to be by myself but I find that there are so many things that I am learning about myself and i feel like had I taken the time before to truly get to know what my likes and dislikes were, then I probably wouldn't have been better off.  (Shoulda, coulda, woulda.......lol.........this is how we grow - we learn from experience)

However, do not take this the wrong way, I am not mad at the fact that I am single, I feel like this is an opportunity to learn more about myself.  I have seen too many people rush in to a relationship as soon as the get out of one. They do not give themselves enough time to heal and try to figure out why the previous relationship did not work out.  As soon as the next relationship starts, it has already ended because they carry over the past issues/habits to the new relationship.  I have also seen where people blame the other person for the breakup, they are so blinded that they blame others for their faults instead of asking, "what went wrong?," "was there anything that could be done or dealt with differently?"

Some people take time out to analyze situations, where as others are blind sited.   The game of 'Passing the Buck' has been around for so long that we can't help but to fall prey to it. 

They are those of us who have been hurt in by the previous relationship that they have given up belief that there is someone special out there for them.  I know about the HURT or the DECEPTION of a relationship gone bad, but I believe that there is something better out there.  I consider myself an optimist, so I try to look at everything with a positive outlook.

Personally, I feel that in order to achieve TRUE HAPPINESS, you have to  LOVE yourself and love yourself to know that you are capable of LOVE and to LOVE and be LOVED. 

Once you have achieved this very important aspect to your life then "THE ONE" will be looking for you and you will realize that it is worth it.